Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic:
In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner.
Discuss both systems.
Marriage is a first step towards the fulfilment of a human's biological purpose. In some countries people are more open towards love marriages whereas others are against the concept of love marriage and believe that in performing them with the permission and agreement of parents. In rest of the essay, I shall discuss advantages and disadvantages of both systems so that they could be understood well.
To begin with, one of the biggest advantages of love marriage is that it frees the parents from their responsibility of choosing life partner for their children. Furthermore, choosing life partners of own choice makes the children responsible. They accept the responsibilities, such as running household matters independently and feeding their own children, happily. On the other hand, arranged marriages involve parent's experiences. In fact they understand their children and its needs so while looking for life partner for their children they keep the nature, likes and dislikes of their children in mind. Parent's understandability and experience eventually can bring exquisite life partner for someone.
These both systems, however, can bring disadvantages too. Love marriage can be a hinder in the way of the happiness of a person if the decision was made emotionally. For example, if immature couple end-up in a marriage by seeing the joy of it, they may suffer for rest of the life. On the other hand, arrange marriages can curse the lives of two families. It is often seen that the arranged marriages that are performed against the will of bride or groom often end in divorce or sometimes worse than this; in suicide.
To summarize, marriage binds two persons in a relationship so the decision must be taken with sensibility. Both systems have their own benefits and drawbacks.
Marriage is a one of the important “Sanskars” of a human being as per our Vedas. It’s a union of two people who get together to grow their families and future generations. Marriage can be either arranged by parents or two individuals can choose their respective life partners.
Love marriage is based on affection, love and mutual interest. These days most of the people prefer to have a love marriage than getting arranged by their parents. Their inclination is based on the fact that they are already aware of the person’s likes and dislikes, temperament and behavioural pattern. In love marriage, both the partners pledge themselves to each other out of the love and not the societal obligation however they have defined rights and obligations towards one another.
Getting married to the person you love is given a legal sanction and is no longer a taboo in any society. Love marriage usually happens between people who have known each other with or without their family’s interference. They usually are people who meet in educational units like school, college, university or they work together or they are probably neighbours or even family friends, through common friends and cousins.
Well, it cannot be really ascertained as to where and how two people meet and fall in love but it is assured that the parental involvement is not there.
Listed below are few advantages and disadvantages of love marriage.
1. Choice to choose
Advantage – First and foremost advantage is that love marriage is not forced upon two individuals. It is their own choice and wish to get married to the specific person. You get the freedom to choose your life partner and you get more independence in this and freedom to live as per your wish.
Disadvantage- There’s a lot of anxiety and stress that people go through when they choose to spend their life with someone of their choice. At times, it takes lot of time to find “The One” compatible to you.
2. Parental involvement
Advantage – Parental involvement in choosing “The One” is not there. People choose the partners and then convey their choice to the parents.
Disadvantage – usually in these cases, people don’t get parental support and everyone in their family turns against them. It creates lot of rift in the relations and lot of stress in life.
Advantage – Selecting the spouse is taken as a sign of maturity. The ownership of love marriage lies totally with the partners. Since parents are not involved, they prefer not to take the ownership of the success of the marriage.
Disadvantage – Whether this union between partners become successful or not, its ownership lies totally with them. They can’t blame their parents if anything goes wrong. In fact, even if the parents accept this alliance, they still do not get involved in the matters of the couple.
4. Familiarity with the partner
Advantage – the reason why people to get married by their own choice is that they are familiar with the other person. They have mutual understanding, respect and love for each other.
Disadvantage – often, it is seen that when two people know each other excessively, somehow it leads to loss of respect for each other. Extensive information beforehand is also not good because the partners have nothing to explore about each other. After all, an old saying, “Excess of everything is bad” and “Familiarity breeds Contempt” is right in this case.
5. Risk factor
Advantage – You have a partner with whom you can do things which interest you both. You can travel, eat out, watch sports together, and explore new places together. They find these things more interesting when they have their love by their side. Even though the chances of break ups and separation are there, the young couple still hope for lifelong togetherness.
Disadvantage – There is a lot of risk of separation in love marriage because usually these marriages are done impulsively and without any deliberation. Over a period of time they realise that there is a huge difference in their goals of life and conflicts start happening. The feeling of love disappears and couples get tired of each other. Eventually resulting in separation.
6. Culture and traditions
Advantages – People get to explore other cultures because these are usually inter-caste and inter-culture marriage. They learn about other cultures and their perception changes. The decision making is also influenced.
Disadvantage – The already existing cultures and traditions of these two people take a back seat because they are engrossed in adapting to the cultures of their partners. Because of this, they lose their hold on their traditions.
7. Financial implication
Advantage – Maintenance of economic balance is done by both the partners, thus they become more responsible and mature to handle things of their own. They provide for their own family.
Disadvantage – Usually, there is no elder to help out in case of financial troubles. They have to provide for themselves. Due to lack of financial support, the couple become stressed and thus begins to hate each other for the separation their marriage caused.
8. Upbringing of children
Advantage – the children out of this wedlock become more mature and independent as they see their parents making the ends meet. Also, they have a new perception of life since they explore both the cultures and they tend to become very accepting of people.
Disadvantage – The children hardly get to meet their grandparent and relatives of extended families since the wedding didn’t happen taking latter’s feeling into account. They are deprived of the love and camaraderie of their cousins, uncle, aunts and grandparents.
9. Adjustment between families
Advantage – Dowry and other gifts like assets and cash is not involved since the Families of groom and bride don’t interact much. Unnecessary expenditure on the wedding is avoided.
Disadvantage – mostly in love marriage when dowry is not involved, the girl’s family is looked down upon. They are labeled as opportunist because their daughter chose her ideal man. She also faces lot of resentment at her in-law’s house. Eventually, she feels that her decision was wrong and she gets stressed.
10. Purpose of marriage
Advantage – For some people, the purpose of establishing a marital relationship with their loved one is hope for forever and ever kind of togetherness. They mutually tie the knot and remain pledged to each other in sickness and health. It takes commitment and devotion to form an everlasting kind of relationship.
Disadvantage – On the other hand, some people take marriage as an opportunity to grow themselves. We have seen many rich girls getting married to poor boys and vice versa. Sometimes, it turns out to be a relationship made out of merely convenience. The Happily-ever-after kind of thinking then becomes a reality check.
It is very difficult to conclude which is the ideal kind of marriage. There are pros and cons of arranged marriage as well as love marriage. Both of these kinds of marriages should depend on the will of both the partners. To conclude it will be convenient to say that semi-arranged can be an ideal marriage. Wherein the parental involvement is there along with the understanding between the partners before getting hitched. This will have low risk and more chances of stable married life.